As we turn into December, I wonder how your Christmas plans are shaping up?
Christmas is supposed to be a magical experience, but sometimes our desire for it to be perfect can lead to bigger disappointments than usual. Compared to where we were planning to be on the big day, any small issue can sometimes feel bigger than it would at any other time of the year.
In addition, life difficulties can amplify. if you’re not where you expected to be, Christmas will crystallise it. I’ll be talking about this in more detail next Monday.
The most important thing about Christmas is to take it one step at a time. Everything, from buying presents to choosing food and deciding what you’re going to do on the day, happens one moment at a time, regardless of how much time you have to stuff into that moment! Remember to take a breath whenever the noise gets too much. Going for a toilet break is a good way to remove yourself, albeit briefly, from the haste of the day. Open the window if you can, and take three deep breaths. This simple action calms the nervous system, and can refresh your energy levels.
If family relations are challenging, remember you don’t have to solve the problems of the world or conquer Everest. Just do one moment by one moment as much as possible. Spending time with people on the fringe of the festivities – older relatives, very young / overwhelmed children, socially isolated people or people who are finding the day difficult – can make your own day better, too. This is not the day to get trapped into a debate about politics! Instead defuse dilemmas with a funny quip or distract onto a more positive topic. Conversations go off on tangents all the time, and nobody will notice. Keep yourself as safe as possible, physically, emotionally and mentally. Avoid mischief. Serve more nibbles and drink! While people are eating they can’t be obnoxious.
If you have a range of ages, consider an activity. A friend of mine always has games at their family Christmases – including a tournament on a console, which even the older people had fun with. A draughts or backgammon tournament, or even a card game or a few packs of cards on the table, can also work. Or set up an easy jigsaw or two, or you can have fun with silly party ideas like Guess the Number of jellybeans in the Jar. The internet is full of ideas!
Above all, remember it is just one day. If it helps, print off poems about life philosophy, like Desiderata by Max Ehrmann or If by Rudyard Kipling, and stick copies on the tables or even on your toilet walls. Sometimes a gentle non-intrusive reminder can work wonders.
Have a merry Christmas!
Joni Page 