Having a second baby brings the question of sibling rivalry into your home. Little kids can be very competitive if they feel they’re missing out. The trick is to make sure they know they aren’t.
I read about a teacher who told her class she wasn’t going to treat them all equally. This sounds terrible! But instead, it’s terribly important. What she was going to do was treat her students equitably. Treating them equally would mean treating them all the same, regardless of their needs and stage of development. Treating them equitably meant she was going to attend to their differing needs, and therefore treat them all fairly.
It’s worth explaining this to our kids. Their brains develop slowly, and we need to ensure they know they don’t need to compete with their sibling/s for our attention. They need to feel reassured we’ll look after their needs when they need it, and we’ll look after their sibling/s’ needs when they need it.
And involve everyone in celebrating achievements. It doesn’t take much. A milkshake. A special dinner. A rare treat. A trip to the playground. A homemade medal. Make a fuss about small achievements as well as big ones, especially if achievements are harder for any of your kids.
Look for little ways to make sure they know there’s enough abundance for everyone.
Joni Page 