Somebody once told me that everyone grows up in a different family. I didn’t get that at first, but it’s true. New parents are novices, untrained and anxious and unable to understand what the heck the baby wants, and the first born is an only child for a while. Once a second kid comes along, at least there’s some experience for the parents to fall back on. Except this kid might be totally different!
But now the family is different in any case. The only child is now an oldest and a sibling, with a very different life, and there are adjustments to be made.
The new baby knows only what it’s like to have kids in the family and experienced parents.
The parents have to adjust to juggling multiple personalities and needs. They have to juggle children in different stages of development, with different talents and interests, and they have to cater for different outside requirements, like school and sport and hobbies. They have to adjust their relationship with their children and with each other. All without a roadmap except their own childhoods, which are often outdated in the world their children find themselves in.
The best we have is love and respect. Adjustment to the family is difficult, but it’s also entirely wonderful if you pay attention.
Joni Page 