Relationships within families once you’re all grown up should be easy. We love our family, right? Blood is thicker than water. You’d do anything for family.
Except there are always going to be problems, even in the best of families.
A counsellor once gave me these tips on how to approach conflicts, hurt feelings and arguments. Each one is a small piece of valuable insight into how to stay sane when things go wrong with the people who are supposed to understand you the most.
2. Acknowledge the feelings of others.
The fastest way to get into a family argument is to decide someone’s feelings are wrong. If you want to be the person in your family who is appreciated by others, and who gets the best behaviour from others, learn to say things like, Gee that sounds tough, or I can see you’re hurting about that. You don’t have to offer advice, in fact, most of the time people just want to be heard.
If it’s you that’s done the wrong, remember apologies cost nothing, and it’s better to be forgiven than to be right. You might also consider, “I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, I’m sorry you thought that was my intention.”
A friend once told me he tells his loved ones, “I love you too much to argue with you.” This seems more helpful than “We’ll have to agree to disagree.”
Words are powerful. Use them well, and your life will be much better for it.
Joni Page 