Everyone was excited, nervous. The smell of anxiety wafted through the open air.
The trainer explained, with a broad grin, the task the group was about to challenge themselves with.
Above us waved many tightropes at various heights, all beckoning the unsuspecting participant to climb aboard, to trust in their fellow participants holding the ropes attached to them to anchor them in case they fell.
The challenge drove the group’s adrenalin sky high. Everyone was keen to get started.
Everyone but me.
I refused to participate. The trainer approached me with a calm smile. He’d seen my kind before, those who are really scared and refusing to try. He knew how to coerce me into participating.
I was having none of it.
I was not scared. It was just that I saw no use in “testing” myself. Life was already doing that. After I left a damaging relationship the year before, I’d lost my home, my job, all the money I’d frugally saved. My dreams and self-esteem had taken a hammering. I’d also spent three months on crutches after badly injuring myself.
I didn’t need a ropes course to see if I could “challenge” myself. The trainer tried to convince me, but I refused.
He was surprised, but he could see I was adamant. He later commended me for my staunch commitment to myself to the rest of the class.
Courage is sometimes hiding in places you least expect it. What I realised about myself that day was that I knew who I was. I didn’t have to demonstrate my inner strength to anyone. The only person whose opinion about me mattered was mine.
I learnt about the human spirit that day. And so did the trainer.
Joni Page 