One of the most important things I learned about in psychology was something called “learned helplessness”.
This occurs when a person has many struggles in life and, even though they try to keep their head above water, they come up against more and more struggle. This becomes their template for life; in other words, they have learned that they are “helpless”.
At times, when I have felt myself creeping towards learned helplessness, I’ve done a few things.
- Allow myself to recover. Don’t try to get ahead or make inroads into anything. Just strip everything back to the bare basics of survival.
- Forgive myself. I’m doing my best. I’m making the best decisions I can. I trust in myself, even in the absence of support from The Luck Fairy.
- Eat simple. Sleep when I can. Nap if I can’t. Distract myself with funny, a book, a movie, a sitcom. Do whatever it takes to get through the day.
- When I’m starting to regain my strength, I get outcome oriented. What is the outcome I want? How can I achieve it? I don’t care who takes the credit for it, or what others may think. I just look for the outcome.
Learned helplessness is difficult. We think if we try hard enough, things will go our way. Sometimes they just don’t. But if you can hang on, gain your strength, get clear, then you might be able to make a little wedge in the path to progress. Just a little wedge. Celebrate the little things that go right. Getting through the day. Standing up in the morning. Driving somewhere safely.
If we look for the little things, we’re still in the game.
Joni Page 